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- spank that monkey \'spank-(')that-'mən-kē\ verb : to observe and discuss stupidity in an effort to better understand and find a solution to the problem that is stupidity. verb : what many visitors hope to do when visiting a web site containing the word "spank" in its title.
I have a dream. I have a dream that, someday, the Human Race will be rid of its stupidity and finally come together in peaceful unity to work together for the betterment of the entire Human Race, rather than for just a select few. I dream of a world where a white guy, a black guy, a Jew and a Muslim can all walk into a bar without it being a joke. I want to be able to watch the news and see people not taking advantage of one another, not killing each other and not hating and fearing one another. Yes, world peace is my goal, well, that or the total annihilation of Human kind before they get a chance to spread their stupidity any further. World peace would be pretty nifty, though.
Humanity has a monkey on its back. That monkey is Stupidity. It is time for us to spank this monkey into submission and learn to live our lives free from its influence!
Note: There is no pornography here. Sorry, you'll have to take your depravity somewhere else.
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Latest Active Forum Threads |
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| To Kill or Not to Kill... |
 I have recently been asked if I believe in capital punishment. Yes, I believe in capital punishment. There is overwhelming evidence to prove that it does exist. However, all joking aside, it is not the easiest question to answer in a quick, idle conversation while driving down the road. I was forced to give a somewhat incomplete answer. In reality, I have three (3) answers. The first is always the sarcastic answer that I just gave. Yes, I believe that capital punishment does, in fact, exist. The other two answers are a bit more serious. One is based on actuality, the way the human world actually functions. It is the practical answer. The other is based on ideology, something that is rarely, if ever, practical.
Let us begin with the practical answer... |
· Spanky on August 21 2010 18:26:57 ·
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| Broken Logic and Self-Righteous Delusions |
| I saw an image the other day that got my brain working on how many people seem to have broken logic. Maybe it is simply a matter of poor education, I don't know. The image was a spoof on the typical McDonald's sign, except that it was for the fictitious McVegan's and had the tag-line, "Billion and Billions Saved!" as opposed to served. Most vegans and many vegetarians are under the belief that they actually save animal lives by not eating animal products. By the same logic employed by these people, it would mean that I actually save your life every time I decide not to kill you. You're welcome, by the way. What's more, many of them tend to take a rather arrogant and pompous attitude about it, as though they are somehow better than other Human Beings. I am of the opinion that only an idiot... |
· Spanky on May 12 2010 17:08:19
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| Facebook, YouTube and More |
 For those who may be unaware, I now present a few details concerning MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and other stuff as it relates to Spank That Monkey.
First, MySpace is crap. I used MySpace at the behest of a friend and it was OK for a little while. Then they did some funky update to make it all fancy and feature packed. Well, for me it lost its appeal, especially since I can no longer post a link to Spank That Monkey on my profile. The link keeps getting redirected to their spam warning page. Yes, I understand that it is to be expected, having the word Spank in the URL, but when combined with all the unnecessary "bells and whistles" that seem to only be an aggravation, it's enough for me to not like MySpace. Besides, I tend to prefer things be kept simple and clean... |
· Spanky on May 10 2010 16:52:19
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| Personal Principles vs. Employment |
Three months ago, after sixteen months of disparaging job hunting, I received a call concerning my resume. The call was partially garbled, so I didn't catch who it was, only a time and address to attend an interview. After the call, I looked into the address and discovered that it was a company that I had been avoiding. It was a sales and marketing firm. I have always viewed sales and marketing to be quite undesirable, as I would have to go against certain personal ideals to do well in these things. I went to the interview anyway, since I had said that I would be there. I was open, honest and somewhat unconcerned during the interview process. Before I knew it, I was part of the machine.
As I went on, I discovered the great opportunity for... |
· Spanky on April 02 2010 16:30:42
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| American Poltical and Economic Concerns |
The following is a rant I inadvertently posted somewhere at Infowars.com as I got a little worked up over the simplicity of the people and the issues alike. Concerning some rather generic issue:
Tell everyone you know about this nonsense. Flood congressional offices with letters, emails and phone calls. Any who decide to rally and protest, be very careful not to fall into the trap of a riot. Violence will only give them the “justification” for this and other unlawful acts against our freedoms. We need persistence, large numbers and cool heads if this government is to be turned into the “of the people, for the people” government it should be... |
· Spanky on June 23 2009 23:02:14
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| Preparing for Rants Concerning Random Crap |
 Being a lazy good-for-nothing just doesn't help when you have so much to get done. There are just so many things to rant and bitch about, I mean to engage in reasonable discourse over. There are so many things that stem from our innate stupidity. Greed, Fear and Hunger for Power all need to be stamped out, for they are rooted firmly in our base stupidity and are the cause of almost all of our problems.
I've been planning a few rants concerning organized religion, political conspiracy, "racism" and a few other things that concern.... |
· Spanky on June 18 2009 13:25:15
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| Spank That Monkey: A Reintroduction |
Welcome to Spank That Monkey v3. I decided to relaunch the site as a sort of social experiment and as a way to pass the time. The previous version suffered a slow and painful death straight from birth, having only been the occasional outlet for my own rants and random nonsense. I blame my own laziness for its demise. This new site will likely suffer the same fate. Only time will tell. This site's more "community oriented" layout and interactive environment may help to keep my interest. Or not...
Anyway, for anyone interested in contributing, members are able to.... |
· Spanky on June 10 2009 18:29:26
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I can't imagine why employers may have a problem with that email as a reference.